"I did not pay $9 to RUN up a volcano!"

When trying to figure out how to entertain my parents in this tourism-free zone of a country I live in, I naturally looked for a place to go with some sort of hike for Lane and a cute town nearby for my mom. I settled on Santa Ana. We used Santa Ana as home base for a few days in order to climb the Santa Ana volcano out of Cerro Verde national park (hike for Lane) and to go to a food festival in a nearby pueblo (cute town with delish food for mom).

Lane was pumped about the hike. While my mom and I wanted to stay at the beach instead of treking cross country to Santa Ana, Lane was ready to get to the volcano. Now, I have previously mentioned in this blog about how backwards/broken things in this country work, and my volcano experience is a PERFECT example of why this place "no sirve." Here goes:

Getting to Cerro Verde to hike the volcano was no easy feat. I could find NOTHING online about how long the bus took from the city, when it left, or how many times a day it ran. I found out from the hotel clerk that it left at 8am daily, and was given directions to the bus stop. Correction: I was given wrong directions to the bus stop. So good thing I'm used to people giving me wrong directions, and that I've learned to ask someone different where to go at about every other block. We made it to the bus stop, which turned out to be a small terminal, and the only one of it's kind I've seen here. You prepaid to get on the bus (which only makes perfect sense, but is almost never done in this country) and the terminal had an indoor waiting area, which I've never seen.

So we made the bumpy two hour drive up to the park. When we got to the park, we were three of around ten passengers, but we were the only three made to get off at the entrance. There, we had to pay $1 each to enter the park, and then walk uphill to the gate, while everyone else on the bus got a ride and free admission! No sirve.

So. The only bus from Santa Ana (basically the only major city anywhere near the national park) gets to the park at 10. Guided tours leave at 11. No earlier. So we had to sit around and wait for an hour to start the climb.

The guided hike consists of essentially three guides; the official guide (to whom you have to pay another dollar) and two police escorts. No joke. And in addition to paying the dollar entrance fee and the guide fee, you have to pay random farmers, whose property you cross through along the way to get to the top of the mountain, and $6 to an NGO that "conserves" nature in the park. The hike ends up costing you $9... and a small part of your soul.

Now what they don't tell you in Lonely planet or online, or even at the park before you start, is that in order to climb the Santa Ana volcano (the second highest volcano in the country, ps) you also have to climb Cerro Verde, a smaller, inactive volcano that sits next to Santa Ana. It's actually a two volcano hike. Yet another thing that they don't tell you is that in order to catch the only bus out of the park and back to Santa Ana (which comes at 3pm), is that you have to RUN up and down both volcanos in just four hours. No sirve.

So what did this mean for us? Well, we ran down Cerro Verde (the hike starts at the top). And I mean I was literally running down a muddy mountain. In front of me were one police escort weighing in at about 100lbs who does the hike four times a week, one 80lb guide, and about 10 salvadoran 20-somethings (who smoked while they ran...impressive, I know). Behind me was the second police escort, and Lane. We ran down the first mountain and up about half of the second one before I decided that I did not pay $9 to run up a volcano! I was going to try and enjoy the hike for god's sake! So I slowed down to a comfortable pace and continued upwards.

Now, at this point I'm thinking, "why the hell did I pay for a guide up this mountain?" The police escort was free, so I can understand them being over it and just hauling ass up the thing, but we paid our "guide" money to take us up and I expected at least to get some information about the trees or animals that lived in the park, or about the history of the volcano. Wrong. (A lesson about El Salvador that I am learning over and over again: do not expect anything). Our "guide" did not utter a single word the whole way up. We didn't stop for water, we didn't stop to learn anything about the park and we didn't stop to take pictures. No sirve.

Once I slowed down to enjoy the scenery I had a pretty decent time, although I was dead tired by that point. And so was Lane. We were both losing our footing (as you do when you're muscles start to wear) and threatened to quit and wait behind several times. We both made it to the top eventually (thanks to the police escort that waited behind with us and encouraged us along) and had a good long rest to take in the views.

And then it started raining. And we started down the mountain (again, with the running). Lane is exhausted, and slips down some rocks. With the rain, Lane was having trouble seeing out of his glasses and he slips again. The rocks are wet and slick, and running down them was not a safe bet for these two Americans! Again, we were lagging behind the runners, and with the rain and the falling, the police escort asked us if we'd like the police vehicle to pick us up in the valley in order to avoid having to climb (translation: run) back up Cerro Verde and so we'd make the 3 o'clock bus. Um, yes please!! By that point we had no shame in taking the ride, as we'd already climbed 1.5 volcanos. Done and done. So we were driven to the top and had just enough time to hit the bathrooms and hop on the bus out of town!

So was it all worth it? My mom says no (she waited in the rain at the top for four hours freezing). I think Lane enjoyed himself despite everything. And I'm still undecided. The view from the top was amazing. There's a crater lake inside the volcano and you can also see Lake Coatepeque from the top off in the nearby distance, but it was cloudy and rainy which put a damper on that excitement. Also, we were exhausted by the time we got to the top, and spent most of the time sitting/laying trying to recuperate, and desperately dreading the hike back. And the whole running up a mountain and a half was a little bit excrutiating. But it was an experience, and Lane and I did have fun making fun of the whole situation, and we definitely made the best of it! If nothing else, we've got some stronger calf muscles and a few good memories to show for it!